Santosha (skt. संतोष saṃtoṣa) literally means “contentment, satisfaction”. It is also an ethical concept in Indian philosophy, particularly Yoga, where it is included as one of the Niyamas by Patanjali.
exhale. today was a lovely day.
i stayed in my body.
i told myself many times over: “i love and approve of myself.”
i spent time with my mother and brother and was not triggered.
i did not have the opportunity to attend a yoga class today because it was my daughter’s birthday. i needed to prepare, host and clean up.
but i gave myself the gift of my own magic 10 practice.
and i gave myself the space i needed to recover from so much “togetherness.”
i had 37 years of alone-ness until suddenly, a decade ago, i became a significant other to a father of two small children.
i dove right in. i had several family and friends who were concerned because our courtship was short and i had been a loner for so long – how would i adjust?
i didn’t think about it because i knew in my heart and my gut this was it. there was no intellectualizing. i just knew.
i was right. our ragtag crew was meant to be. at the same time, it was and is so demanding. crushing at times even. yet energizing too … the joy. watching these humans evolve, discover, and grow. having the honor of guiding them through.
looking up at the trees … glorious hundreds of years old trees in our backyard. swaying, green, breezy. ah, it felt delicious. loved ones all around, healthy and well.
i feel very lucky. i appreciate my life very much. i have been through a damned lot, and i am healing. i am keeping positive, expansive, and curious. i did not think about midlife much when i was young. now i think about my later years and how i want them to look.
right now, i hear my husband and the kids playing on the Nintendo switch. yelling, laughing and trash-talking. i feel so so lucky. i am content.