i want to write today but i don’t know what to write about. i don’t want to lecture – i am tired of hearing my pronouncements and self-cherishing. it just so happens today was an on-campus teaching day and often when i am in front of my students, i wonder why they are even listening to me – what is the point?
exploring the next chapter of my career i wish to get out of my own localized mind and knowing and tap into new references, resources and capabilities. it is very scary and weird to enter the unknown, as anyone who sits down to write or create anything can attest. the coolest aspects of my life are a weird tapestry woven together partially by luck, partially by synchronicity and partially by force of will. our human inclination is to focus on the willfulness part.
but that is hubris. what makes it all go, the movement of it all … the big picture? the seasons, the leaves falling, the cycle of life and death? einstein said, “i want to know god’s thoughts — the rest are details.” it really resonates. and while this kind of “directionless” writing feels really messy and uncomfortable, there is something to it. the practice. to work something out and not even know what I’m working out or on.
one thing i DO know is that the trees outside my window are breathtakingly beautiful. i am so very lucky get to look at them. resplendent.