Author: col

last week i slid back into some old bad habits. the minute i got some new work, i abandoned my boundaries and began to disembody. for me that looks like compulsively checking work email + slack, not walking/doing yoga, not prioritizing self-care, and eating poorly. i was aware of if, though, and made some small… Continue reading witnessing old patterns

I am tired of trying to satisfy so many people’s needs. I’m sorry, I am not available to take your call right now. I have a vast network of humans constantly demanding my time, attention, and energy. I know you are lonely. I know you are in need. But I simply do not have the… Continue reading no thank you

is what i am working on. mostly struggling with – but at least i am aware. “You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” ― Pema Chödrön pema’s right. we are born on earth and our humanity is our teacher. but we don’t want to be taught. we want to be the sky,… Continue reading non reactivity

I lived with a mask, a cover for 40 years. This is not to say there was no truth. There was truth. But my social self … the me I showed the word was encased in a hardened shell of protection and armor. I’m perfect it said. I do all the right things. I hit… Continue reading Unmasked

Part of healing is finding one’s unique gift and then giving it. The masters always advise finding a way to help and serve others because that’s what makes us truly happy. This is a tricky one for those among us who have had codependent tendencies for much of our lives… sublimating ourselves in relationships and… Continue reading How can I help and serve today?

What have you outgrown? What can you let go of that is holding you back? I have outgrown the “fawn” trauma response. I am so done with that. I have outgrown playing small and pretending I don’t want more. I have outgrown taking shit from people and being a dumping ground for others’ negativity and… Continue reading 2022 Reflections

A lot of my dear ones and beloveds are uncoupled, whether by choice or by circumstance. I empathize with the loneliness that some single individuals feel in a society that tells us we must be coupled to be happy, content, and complete. It’s not true for everyone. Some single folks are content and find their happiness… Continue reading alone for the holidays

1. I’m alive 2. My breath 3. My phone and ability to post this 4. The cushions beneath me. 5. The feeling of my dog’s wet nose nuzzling on my arm 6. The sound of my daughter laughing with her friends 7. The fact that my son just called his older sister to ask for… Continue reading Gratitude