healing is the way, and it is exhausting. processing 47 years of dysregulation is tiring. it feels lighter, and i wouldn’t NOT do it but it is hard as hell.
Easy
A new thing, a new approach for me is Taking It Easy. Relinquishing control and perfectionism. Little me stayed up all hours perfecting her diorama. She cried when she got even a single problem wrong on her math practice. No one showed me another way. In fact, I remember trying to hide my emotions and… Continue reading Easy
Santosha
Santosha (skt. संतोष saṃtoṣa) literally means “contentment, satisfaction”.[1][2] It is also an ethical concept in Indian philosophy,[3] particularly Yoga, where it is included as one of the Niyamas by Patanjali.[4] exhale. today was a lovely day. i stayed in my body. i told myself many times over: “i love and approve of myself.” i spent time with my mother and brother and was not… Continue reading Santosha
breaking old patterns
i choose liberation, and it is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. it can be so scary to do things differently, especially when our old patterns are calcified. we feel like we will snap if we try to open up to alternative approaches. it is PAINFUL! until we heal ourselves, whether we are aware of it or… Continue reading breaking old patterns
rejection
i have been so externally focused for most of my life … i thought it was my job to regulate my parents’ wildly fluctuating emotions and moods as a child. when i (inevitably) failed to stop their dysfunction, i blamed myself. this hypervigilance and self-blaming and shaming became ingrained and followed me into adulthood. yesterday… Continue reading rejection
embodied healing
Somatic therapy is so interesting. Yesterday i had a very specific experience of it working and helping. I described the experience to my therapist and said, “This is the way.” She smiled knowingly and pointed out that I was quoting “The Mandalorian,” a show I love. 🙂 My anxiety is very strong first thing in… Continue reading embodied healing
COVID and the Four Fs of Post-Traumatic Experience
As we continue to process the time of upheaval we’ve experienced during a pandemic, this is an important time to learn about trauma and the responses… COVID and the Four Fs of Post-Traumatic Experience Great infographic about trauma responses
fawn
i started with a new therapist yesterday who specializes in somatic therapy and polyvagal theory. what i have been zeroing in on is my fawn response. i can physically pinpoint the moments when my nervous system floods with adrenaline. when it’s happening, i can basically picture what’s happening inside my body. these moments can be… Continue reading fawn
farewell, energy vampires
I am in the process of detaching from a toxic person with whom I worked for over a decade. Our relationship was always lopsided. She was one of the people i “pitied” and took under my wing out of “kindness” but when I really look at it I can see that I was using her… Continue reading farewell, energy vampires
4 keys to enjoying life and being happy
Be happy for others Have compassion for those who are struggling Celebrate those who do what we do and do it better Disregard the wicked According to Patanjali and the ancient wisdom of yoga as shared by my teacher today! i received a beautiful compliment from two fellow yogis today … they thanked me for… Continue reading 4 keys to enjoying life and being happy
Healing in Plain Sight 